Wanted: One Sex Drive. Reward For Its Return

I have a dirty little secret. One I'm not ashamed to admit, but one I'm very frustrated with.

I have zero sex drive. None. Flat lined. Someone bring in the paddles cause we have a code blue here. Zippo. Nada.

The last few weeks if I've masturbated once or twice a week that's a lot. Hell, there was awhile there where I couldn't even remember the last time I masturbated.

What the heck happened? Personally, I blame it on stress. As the end of the year approaches, there's about a billion things going on for me. First and foremost I have finals. I'm not talking average, run of the mill college finals. I'm talking law school finals. Soul-crushing, mind-numbing, pain-inducing finals. Yeah, not exactly looking forward to that. I compared them to "up the butt with no lube" to a friend and I'm pretty sure the image was ... uh ... imaginative for her. I forgot she isn't the same kind of kinky player I am. She giggled to me one time when her boyfriend held her down during sex. I rolled my eyes privately but encouraged her to do what felt good, regardless of what seemed "right" or "wrong."

Another factor that I suspect is playing a large part is S.A.D. or Seasonal Affective Disorder. It makes you ... well, sad. Having gone off my depression meds, I'm much more apt to find myself down lately, but that being said the side effects of the meds aren't worth the down feelings I may get every now and then. That's a whole 'nother story in and of itself. I love the change in the weather from cool fall nights to cold winter nights, but it's that change that does something to my moods. Makes me cranky, moody, irritable. I'm doing my best to work through it in a natural way, hoping that once we finally pick a season my moods will stabilize and maybe my sex drive will return.

And the worst part? Masturbating and orgasms makes me feel less stressed out. The lack of drive to do it is only perpetuating the cycle. No urge to masturbate because of stress means crankier means more stressed means even less urge to masturbate.

So if you're out and about this season of sharing and caring and happen to find a lonely sex drive of a kinky girl hanging around, send it my way. I need it back please. A reward will be paid to the finder.

Calenders suck sometimes

I'm going on five months without any vaginal sex. Same five months without receiving any oral sex. It's been almost three months since I had anal sex of any kind. Since then it's been my fingers and my toys.

Is sex just too much to ask for? Am I too picky?

God, I want sex of some kind. Really passionate, really kinky, really dirty, really rough, really physical sex.

Sometimes Even My Sex Drive Wanes

For seven days now I've been laid up dealing with recovering from having my lower wisdom teeth taken out. In the grand scheme of things, the surgery wasn't that major, but in the world of oral surgery it was pretty intense. I'm just starting to feel human again and not have to deal with pain from open wounds and all that was involved in my surgery.

I answered a Formspring question this morning already that got me thinking. It asked about rating my last orgasm. And quite frankly, I couldn't remember my last orgasm. I think it was sometime early last week.

For someone who has such a normally high sex drive as myself, even mine wobbles from time to time. Dealing with the pain from recovery has put a huge damper on my sex drive this last week. Before that dealing with the pain of those wisdom teeth being horribly impacted (for the last five years!) put a damper on it. I don't feel entirely sexy when I'm suffering from a debilitating migraine after all.

My anti-anxiety medication I take also impacts my sex drive. While it doesn't quash it entirely like I've heard horror stories of, it does put a damper on it and I'd say probably three out of every seven days of the week I'm just not interested in sex. I'm hoping the latest medication I started doesn't impact it as much as some of the previous medications I've taken in the past. Having just taken it for little over a week now, I still can't be sure of the long term repercussions considering I've mainly been consumed with recovering from my oral surgery.

I think a lot of women suffer from lowered sex drive and so do a lot of men. The more people I talk to and the more information I read, the more common it seems to me. We are all bound by a common thread and sometimes that thread doesn't seem super interesting to us. It happens. We deal with it. Some of us better than others.

Don't feel alone if suddenly you find yourself almost entirely disinterested in sex. Because even me, who could have sex several times a day when I'm at the height of my sex drive, sometimes find myself disinterested in the act. When it happens, hold hands, cuddle, and be intimate in other ways. Hopefully it will pass and things will resolve themselves naturally. Longer and deeper periods of low sex drive may be a medical problem from hormone or chemical imbalance. Consider getting yourself to a doctor.

But most of all, work through it the best way you know how. I know I am.