At this point between my porn watching and my sex life, I have developed a few things I like and don't like. One thing I hate? Blowjobs. All the men out there (side thought: I wonder if there's even guys who read my blog?) are probably shouting blasphemy, but it's true. I just don't like them. Don't like giving them, watching them in porn, or watching someone else give one. They do nothing for me. If anything, they turn me off.
So where did this blasphemy come from? My mouth. Wait, what? No really. My mouth is so freaking small - the size of a small child's mouth. It's more than just stretching my jaw to give a blowjob for me. It's actually painful and not in that good kind of hurt way I like. When I went in to get my last remaining wisdom teeth extracted this summer at an oral surgeon, I actually considered asking how hard it would be to have my surgically altered to open wider. Couldn't bring myself to bring it up, but the thought was in my head.
I guess the pain I feel from them cause me to dislike giving them. Duh, Einstein. I know, obvious right? The times I've tried to give blowjobs all that has happened was either I give up or the guy tells me it's not important for him. "Too much teeth, honey." I'm sorry, but I literally cannot open my mouth more to not give you teeth.
Then guys tell me, "okay if you can't take my cock in your mouth you can lick at the head and use your hands." Practical solution but here's the thing - I literally get super turned off now when I have to give oral. I don't see it as something pleasurable to me. At all. Even remotely. It's tedious and I end up getting pissed off. Not exactly good for setting a positive and pleasurable mood. Sigh.
The bigger problem? I have gotten to a point where I hate watching blowjobs in porn too. With 95% of porn produced being aimed at men and most of those men liking blowjobs, I'm up a creek without a paddle. I practically have to search far and wide to find pornography without blowjobs in them. Hell, even lesbian porn with strap-ons involve some kind of sucking action.
But here's the paradox. When I put on my strap-on, I crave receiving a blowjob. It's such a weird thing that I almost can't reconcile it with my usual extreme dislike of the whole act. Weird I know. Hmmm. I shall have to think about that further.
In the mean time though, I hate blowjobs. Sorry, men of the world. Don't expect me to give you one cause unless your cock is skinner than my thumb it's doubtful I'll offer to blow you. My dislike of the whole thing combined with a gag reflex that makes me almost puke when I brush my back molars just ends up being a whole messy, uncomfortable, unsexy situation for me.
