Coming out, no matter what you come out as, is a hard process and one that involves lots of mental anguish, indecision and hardship. Until you actually come out, you have no real idea how your family, friends and other associates will react to it. They may say that they support those who are queer, but until it actually happens it's anybody's best guess.
My mother has long since told me that one of the worst things I can be is a lesbian. My father couldn't care less as long as I'm happy and living my life how I want to live it. Needless to say I'm still in the closet with my parents, but out to people who know me on a personal basis. My important friends know and that's what matters to me. Friends are the family we pick for ourselves.
So what do I identify with? What sexual identity? I consider myself heteroflexible with a side helping of queer thrown in. While I am mainly attracted to men, when it comes right down to it the parts don't matter to me. It's what is inside their heart and soul that matters. Someone can have no gender and I can still be attracted to them if I find them to be a good, loving, healthy and attractive person. Love knows no gender boundaries for me. I concede the typical societal expectation is for the male/female relationship, but it's becoming less and less the typically expected norm. I'm quite proud of this and it's something that I hope continues to be dispelled by days such as this one.
We should all support people who choose to come out today. We are all members of the human community and no matter our differences, our similarities are more important. At our core we are all the same people and made of the same components. It shouldn't matter who we love, whether it is a choice or nature. I refuse to take part in that discussion whether being "gay" is nature or nurture because for me it can be both and yet can be neither.
With all the publicity in the last few weeks of teens who commit suicide after being bullied for their sexual identity, we should all support those who are brave enough to come out on a day like today.
At our heart, I think we're all queer. I know I sure am.
For more information on National Coming Out Day, please go to the Human Rights Campaign's website.
